Tuesday, January 27, 2015

When I Don't Understand...

I'll just let this song speak for me today...  I don't really have any words better than this.

Another negative pregnancy test today.  I don't understand why God doesn't bless my friends Adam & Natalie with a baby.  I don't understand why they have 6 babies in heaven.  I don't understand how He could ignore thousands of prayers for this.  I don't understand why His answer appears to be no.  I don't understand why it's so hard for good people to have babies.  I don't understand miscarriages.  I don't understand infertility.  I don't understand cancer.  I don't understand heartache and broken dreams.  I don't understand this fallen world.

... but I will choose you God!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Gun Shy Confidence {6dp5dt}

Feeling anxious today.  I hate the waiting period.  I'm just crying out to God to make this surrogacy attempt successful.  My God can make dry bones live, can make all things new, and can certainly do this!

Our last go-round I was SOOOOOOOOOO confident, so this time I'm very gun shy, but still cautiously optimistic and trusting God, because what else can I do?  I faithfully did my bed rest, I have avoided lifting over 10 lbs (much to Kenzie's dismay), and have been eating eggs, avocado, black beans, & salmon + drinking whole milk!  It's in His hands now.

Today is 6dp5dt (6 days past 5-day embryo transfer).  If you spend too much time on surrogacy and IVF blogs you will become fluent in crazy abbreviations and also a little crazy!  I shared this last time, but here's a look at what's going on with these 2 little embryo-babies!

5-Day Transfer

Days Past
Transfer (DPT)
Embryo Development
OneThe blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
TwoThe blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
ThreeThe blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
FourImplantation continues
FiveImplantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
SixHuman chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
SevenFetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
EightFetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
NineLevels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Naps, Books, and Netflix

Ok our last surrogacy attempt was obviously the first and having nothing to compare it to, everything was fine; but I will say today was so much smoother and easier and just felt better. Hoping that leads to positive results in 12 days! (January 27th is test day!)

Luckily I also had a couple clowns in the recovery room to help me out! (Thanks Eli and Adam!)

So today's been a nice day of rest (thanks to Uncle Nick and Aunt Caitlin for watching the kiddos!) watching some Netflix, reading a lot, and even napping. Plus spoiled rotten by treats!

Thank you for all your love, support, and prayers!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Lucky 13 Pills Per Day

I'm a little late to update here, but it's been a hectic week!  I started a really great real estate training program so I've had class from 9-11 every day AND homework plus balancing my normal duties and real estate clients and kiddos and I've felt like I'm struggling to keep my head above water, but it's good to be busy in my world!  :-)

Anyway, Janaury 7th was an important day for several reasons.  I started the morning at 7:30am at the doctor's office so they could check on my progress with all the estrogen.  My uterine lining was 10.73 and my estrogen levels were at 1550  and apparently that's perfect so YAY!

And then I got to go out with my lovely husband to celebrate our 9th anniversary!  I was craving meat (odd for me, probably all the hormones!) so we went to Fogo de Chao for the first time and then to my favorite date place - Barnes & Noble.  LOL!

Today I got to add several things to my daily estrogen doses: progesterone, steroids, and antibiotics.  A grand total of 13 pills a day + 3 patches!  5 days away from surrogacy!

Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy this diet!  ;-)


Trusting God that January 15th is going to be successful!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Christmas Fun

My maternal grandmother instilled in me that the 12 Days of Christmas starts after Christmas so we celebrate up to "3 Wise Men Day" (some call it Epiphany) - January 6th - every year.  In fact, the 3 wise men used to bring my brother and I gifts on January 6th bundled in brown paper and left at our front door via their camels of course.

So for us, the tree is still up and the lights are still on.  Luckily, our beautiful 10' 4" tree is still looking pretty good even though we chopped it down in November!   We have had such a fun Christmas season though and I wanted to share some of the great things we got to do!

We visited Crown Center & go ice-skating!  The kids' first time.  Kenzie was not a fan, but Micah loved it!

We had a very wonderful family trip to Branson with my mom & Steve, Eli's parents, and Nick & Caitlin.  We stayed in a cute stone house and saw Silver Dollar City in all its Christmas glory PLUS rode on the Polar Express!

Saw Rudolph musical at the Coterie at Crown Center on December 26th.  If you are wondering why Kenzie is not smiling in this picture it is because she was VERY disappointed that "the Bumble" (the Abominable Snowman) was not present for the photo ops.  He's her favorite... which probably says quite a bit about her little personality.  ;-)

Also, I got to share Advent with the kids with a cool book by Ann Voskamp (one of my favorites!) called "Unwrapping Christmas" - every day was a new Bible passage and reading.  I downloaded the free coloring pages that came with the book and while I read they colored.  We had a blast with it, and it's been so special that they are getting old enough to understand so much and get a taste for why we really celebrate Christmas!  

I know I am forgetting so much, but those were the highlights for our family!