Thursday, September 11, 2008

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Quakers: None. The Inner Light is enough.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Church of Christ: Change, what do you mean change?

1 comment:

Megs said...

I'm memorizing the same verse with you over at LPM this month! I was hit very hard with it at a women's retreat this weekend-- we were talking about Security and I realized that I place so much of my security in the approval of others. Especially at work I am being hit with the conviction that I work for the approval of my immediate bosses. I view my 9-5 job as a place of ministry, but as Gal 1:10 says, I cannot be a servant of Christ here unless I am only seeking the Lord's approval. I'll be praying for you as I memorize this verse. I'm glad someone is on the same one!